


thank you, I'll say goodbye soon.

by enticingmoon



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, Emotional, M/M, Serious, Suicide, describing the feeling of depression, dream - Freeform, dreamnotfound, georgenotfound - Freeform, hard hitting, mcyt - Freeform, mental health, sad death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:00:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28675605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enticingmoon/pseuds/enticingmoon
Summary: tw // suicide, serious talk about depression, heavy talk about mental health, describing the feeling of depression. deep talk about mental health and depression. (I also didn't proofread this so I apologize for any inconsistencies or any grammatical errors! I also take any criticism!)dream felt only pain in his heart, it was all too much for him, he felt tired. george found out too late.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34





	thank you, I'll say goodbye soon.

**Author's Note:**

> if you can't handle serious or heavy/deep talk about depression and mental health, please click away! this gets very serious and heavy! It's a short story!

dream couldn't take it anymore. he felt more and more depressed. his heart was clouded with an emotion he couldn't decipher. he wanted it to be over, he wanted it to just...disappear, everything. 

he felt so overwhelmed, he felt so pressured. he tried so hard to be the best. his body and mind couldn't keep up, he was feeling worn-out. 

he felt like he was in an dark abyss where no one could hear him, everything echoed back to him. he was alone, even with amazing friends and supporters, he was alone. he couldn't do anything.

he knew that he was exhausted, but he needed everything to be perfect, for his fans and for the person he loved. he didn't enjoy waking up in the morning, he just wanted to go sleep forever. he wanted to feel at peace, this life wasn't for him.

he thought about everything he could do to make himself happier. he didn't want to go to therapy because then he'd have to admit he's been struggling. no one wants to watch a youtuber who's been struggling with mental health, he's supposed to be perfect to everyone, even himself. 

he doesn't want to be vulnerable, he'd rather keep to himself where it's safe. he's been trying to deny these feelings for so long because he can't let it ruin him. but, as things go, he's succumbed to those feelings.

he's just tired, he wants to go to sleep. he wants to rest peacefully, for a while. his best friend had tried asking what's wrong, but he stayed silent. he changes the topic, anything to get him away from the vulnerability he knows he'll have to face eventually.

the last person he could tell these emotions to was his best friend, the one he's been wanting to impress the most. no one would ever buy a broken doll so why would anyone love a broken person? 

george. that's all he could ever think of. his mind always clouded with thoughts about his best friend. he was perfect, so dream knew he also had to match him so he could see him.

his eyes, his mouth, no, his smile, his laughter. that's all he'd ever want. he felt different with george, something was different about him. his...everything. even though, he had someone he loved, the pain from unrequited love hurt significantly. 

his mental health was deteriorating at alarming rates, but george was like a drug to him. he couldn't stop being with george, pain came with that. he didn't care, he'd rather take all the pain and hide it all away.

he wanted to pretend it was all okay, he had george. george can save him, george could help him. george could the answer to all his problems.

no. george couldn't save him, he couldn't help him. george was only a temporary fix. he used george as something to merely hide his emotions. as soon as george left, he was in emotional turmoil once again.

he was left in agonizing silence. he just wanted george to be with him always, maybe then he can smile like he used to. but, maybe he'd grow tired of george. maybe, george doesn't want to help him. 

the thoughts he had, he wouldn't wish them upon anyone.

_george doesn't care about you, he's only using you._

_you'll never be perfect, you're filled with flaws._

_you're worthless, no one will ever love you._

_why don't you just **die** already? leave george alone._

_george wants you gone, we both know that._

he couldn't hide these feelings anymore. there is nothing he could anymore. his walls were crumbling down. he found himself crying into his pillow every night. he felt unwanted, worthless, pathetic.

he just couldn't handle it anymore. he doesn't want this anymore. he doesn't want to be here. he wants to fall into a comfortable slumber, to never wake up again.

he remembers all the pills he'd left in his bathroom cabinet. he knew that he'd save them there for this very reason.

he picked up his phone, calling the one person who's voice he'd been wanting to hear for so long.

"dream? what do you want?" george sounded tired, guilt stabbing his heart.

"george. I've tried so hard to do the right thing," dream's eyes spring with tears. "to be the perfect guy, the one everyone admires, but it seems that i'm always doing something wrong, there just no end to it, is there george? I'm tired, I just want to take a break. I think- I think this is the one thing I can do correctly."

"what do you mean, dream? you can take a break whenever you want." george's confused tone, he can almost imagine the look on george's face.

"a break won't do anything. I'll still be left with myself and that's the one person I can't seem to satisfy. I'm my own biggest critic." dream could hold the emotions no longer, his grief poured out in a flood of uncontrollable tears.

"dream, I understand how you feel. you have to calm down. I'm here for you, I always have been." dream knew george couldn't grasp at what he was going at.

"you don't understand, george! no one can! I feel so fucking tired! I feel..." dream trails, taking a deep breath.

"I feel worthless, miserable, pathetic. I don't think anything could fix me. I'm past the point of help, george. what do I do? I've ran out of options." dream sluggishly walks to his bathroom, crouching down to his cabinet.

"dream, you still have options. you can talk to a therapist. you can even talk to yourself about everything you're feeling. you have me. please, just calm down." george's worried tone, dream feels even worse. 

"no, george. no one can help me. not even you, even if you're the love of my life." dream shuffles around the cabinet, pill bottles rattling.

"I-I love you too, dream. please, don't do this. don't do anything, I can help you." this was probably too much for george, which dream quietly apologized in advance.

"hearing you say those words to me is supposed to make me feel happy, right? why am I still sad, george? you were supposed to fix me! you were supposed to make me feel okay again!" dream shouted wretchedly into the phone. 

"dream, that's not how that works. I'm sorry, but I can never be a solution to the problems. you need to sit down and take deep breaths." dream felt overwhelmed, pills in one hand, phone in the other.

he sets the phone down on the sink as he swiftly opens the pills. he looks at them menacingly, biting his lip. this was the solution to his problems, they had to be.

"dream, no! there's so many options, please just put those away!" dream stared at the pills, drowning out the sound of george's voice.

"these will make me feel okay, george. these'll help me, they'll put me into a comfortable sleep which is what i've always wanted. I needed this for so long." dream holds up the pills to his mouth, swallowing as many as he could.

"no! stop! dream, please! I want to help you! don't do this to yourself!" he turned a deaf ear to george's cries.  
dream grabbed his phone and held it tight in his hand. he walked back to his bedroom, wanting to rest. he was smiling brightly, this was the solution he'd been looking for.

"dream? dream, hello?" george cried into the phone.

"george, I think this is for the better," dream whispered, his breaths slowing down.

"you've done everything you could, I just couldn't be saved." dreams eyes brimmed with tears.

"dream, you didn't. what am I supposed to do?" george's muffled sobs made dream feel horrible.

"I'm sorry, but I wanted to feel happy and I am. thank you for everything," dream's voice was shaky and breathless.

"george, I love you...maybe we'll meet each other again soon..." dream's eyes closed slowly, smiling one last time.

"maybe in another life, I would like to..." dream couldn't finish his sentence, a tight sensation was in his chest. feeling like he needed to breathe more or more quickly. feeling like his body can't get enough oxygen quickly enough.

he would be able to leave all the pain behind. his fragile, human heart beat one last time, the sounds of crying grew fainter, he found himself in his perfect heaven.

**Author's Note:**

> This was very heavy, it hurt to write so it gets really deep. I'm sorry but also thank you for reading!


End file.
